It’s been just over a month since they told us our site was closing down. Today, those plans were finalized and we have the timetable to the last day. It’s going to be December 11th. I called that one on the nose, that’s for sure.
It’s very surreal to know that the job I found that I actually like the most is just disappearing. Today, I realized that everything in my life has up and disappeared on me. I’m an Aquarius, so it’s natural to have change in my life, but come on, enough already. I really liked this job, I kind of planned to stay with them for 20 or so years. I mean, I actually PLANNED on staying! I’ve not had a job like that in a REALLY long time. Every one I had, I knew it was not going to be a forever job. It just sucks ass, that’s all.
So, in my turmoil and despair, I fell down a rabbit hole. Instead of going to work for someone else, I’m going to just start my own business with a business partner. See, rabbit hole! A very big rabbit hole. I figured this was going to be the last time someone tells me “Oh you are fantastic, however, we are closing” or “Your great, we just made a mistake and we have to downsize”. I NEVER want to hear those damn fucking words again. You made a mistake, but I’m paying for it? And people wonder why I am a control freak? There you go. There is your reason.
I keep telling myself that it’s going to be okay. It’s something I’m good at, it’s something I enjoy doing and it’s something with a lot of potential. I just have to step outside my comfort zone and take a chance. No more doing the W-2 because it’s the safe way to go. If I fail, at least I’m failing on my own terms and it won’t be due to someone else making a crappy decision.
The smoke is finally clearing up and the breathing is getting easier. I’m taking my portable nebulizer with me tomorrow, just in case I need it. I can always pop out to the car and grab a breathing treatment if need be. Have drugs will travel!
I’m also going back to school in order to get a few additional certifications and maybe another degree? We will see, this time around it’s accounting. I really want to crack up laughing as accounting was what my step father wanted me to go into WAYYYYYYY back when. He wanted accounting, my Dad wanted the Naval Academy and I chose Marketing/ Interior Design. Just FYI, my life has always been like this.
Discovered a cool show on Netflix that I have been doing the binge on. Rosemary and Thyme. It’s an English mystery program based on two gardeners. As strange as it sounds, it’s actually rather good. I love the gardens they feature in the show. I can kill an air plant, so other gardens fascinate me. Oh good lords, I just realized I own plants…what am I going to do with them this winter? Garage with a grow light maybe? Some need to be repotted…maybe I’ll do that this weekend? Move them to bigger pots to prepare for winter?
I have a million exams to sit for still and I feel like I’m not making any progress at all on them. I know I am, there are just so many, that it doesn’t feel like I’m moving forwards at all. I need to be more organized and get back into the study habit like I used to be.
I did at one time manage to carry 18 credits and pass them all beautifully. Now I have three courses I’m doing and I’m so scattered I forget to watch the lectures. It’s just a matter of organizing and making good use of my time. Not procrastinating of which I am famous for. Not to mention I’m just downright lazy.
Once I’m not working for a W-2, I’m going to have to make myself a schedule and keep to it. That means an alarm, breakfast, appointments, classes, lunch, exercising and cooking. I really do miss cooking, to be honest. I’m one of those that when I cook, I really cook. It’s not quick stuff, but stuff that has to sit and mature or rise or something like that. Getting home and having to rush to cook dinner sucks ass too. Hopefully, the new schedule will be better. My biggest challenge is going to be getting dressed for the day! I’m rather bad about hanging around in the jammies. Hey, it’s cuts down on laundry! But, I’m going to make an effort to get dressed first thing in the am just after breakfast.
Wow, that’s going to be surreal, I’ll be able to have breakfast and coffee at the table! Usually I grab cereal or oatmeal in front of my computer at work while it boots up. Not the most healthy of lifestyles, that’s for sure. For instance today, breakfast was a pint of chocolate milk. Don’t ask, just don’t ask. While I’m going to miss my job, I think my health will improve.
As for now, It’s bedtime. 4:00am comes rather early.